19. The Sun: Healing Your Inner Child

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Middle: Rider-Waite-Smith, Top left: Sasuraibito, Top right: Star Spinner, Bottom left: This Might Hurt, Bottom right: Modern Witch.

The Sun is such a happy card. In the traditional imagery, a child joyfully sits atop a horse, as the sun shines down and sunflowers grow tall in the background. This card represents release, liberation, and feeling totally alive. The baby represents innocence, the banner victory, and the sunflowers represent happiness and positivity.

But if you look at this card and have mixed feelings because you are reminded of your own less-than-joyous upbringing, you are not alone. I want to talk about healing your inner child so that no matter your previous experiences, you can begin to enjoy the positive vibes of this card.

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Have you ever had a really strong reaction to something that shouldn’t have been a big deal? You may not know why you felt that way- the root cause. It might be that you hit a trigger of something that affected you when you were a child. Your body remembers, even if your conscious mind doesn’t.

Buddhist monk and peace activist Thích Nhất Hạnh said:

The cry we hear from deep in our hearts comes from the wounded child within. Healing the inner child’s pain will transform negative emotions.

He says that in order to heal our inner child, we must listen compassionately and practice mindfulness. He describes mindfulness as a way to improve your mind’s ‘circulation’, assisting your mind to do what your liver and kidneys do to get rid of toxins. How do you remove these metaphorical toxins from your mind?

When you were a child, you were largely unable to understand the nuances of adult communication. If a parent was angry about something, you may have thought it your fault, not understanding things like a stressful work situation, or mounting bills. If an adult said something cruel to you, you may have believed it must be true. An adult said it after all.

If your childhood experiences were particularly difficult or abusive, you will likely need the help of a therapist to untangle all the threads of your life and heal from those experiences. But there are some things you can do yourself to help the process along. Not everyone has access to a therapist, but that doesn’t mean you are a lost cause.

Think about the parts of you that are most childlike. Playful, vulnerable, impulsive, needing security. Try to visualise those qualities as being your younger self. If you have any photos from your childhood, looking at those can help. You may want to look into Internal Family Systems Therapy, which uses the idea of ‘parts’ within your own mind as a way of healing from trauma. It relies on the idea that the mind is multiplicitous, that is, made up of multiple, sometimes contradictory parts.

In a way, you have to re-parent yourself. Think back to things that happened to you that weren’t okay. Talk to yourself, visualise picking your child self up and giving them the love and support that you needed at that time. If this is too hard right now, try recalling happy memories and visualise being a positive and supportive influence on your child self. If you have issues with visualisation, such as aphantasia, consider writing a letter to your child self instead.

It can be harder to be compassionate to yourself than to others. This is why visualising child you is important. Treat that child like you would any other. Tell them you are proud of them, that they deserve the best in life. Tell them the good things about them, how smart, or kind, or creative they are. Remind them that you are there for them and they do not have to be afraid. Imagine (if you can) playing with the child and spending time with them.

If you pull The Sun, imagine that child in the image is you. You are innocent and joyful, you can be silly and playful, and you are protected.

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The lotus grows only in muddy water.

 

 

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